Contraception: Why Not? (part 19)

This post is part of a series by Professor Janet E. Smith.

Slide: Impediment to Total Self-Giving

John Paul II maintained that contraception is an impediment to total self-giving.  He maintained that it is a contradiction to say “I love you” and then to have contraceptive sex.  He said the act of sexual intercourse is meant to be an act of complete self-giving; it means, “I give myself to you in a way in which I give myself to no other.”  How many in our culture can say that?  It also means “I find you immensely attractive.  I want to give you great pleasure and I want to receive pleasure.” And it means “I’m open to having children with you.”  Contraceptive sex means, “I want to have great physical pleasure with you.”  It’s a minimal statement.

Non-contraceptive sex, on the other hand, is a maximal statement.  Males seem to understand this even better than females.  Contraceptive sex is, as they say, supposedly safe sex.  Not just safe from pregnancy but safe from commitment since pregnancy means commitment.  If there is no openness to a pregnancy, there is no commitment.  In fact, most men find the prospect of non-contraceptive sex scary.  And why is it scary?  Because it means a lifetime commitment.  If you have a baby with someone else, you have a lifetime commitment with that person.  And a man who is willing to engage in an act of non-contraceptive sex with a woman, who has any idea of what he’s doing, any sense of responsibility, is saying to this woman I am willing to make a lifetime commitment to you.  That’s what it’s all about.  If we have a baby and we’re going to be with each other forever, that’s fine with me.  In fact, that’s what I want.  And that’s what a non-contraceptive act of sexual intercourse means.  A contraceptive act of sexual intercourse you can have with just about anybody.  It has nothing written into it of lifetime commitment.

Slide: Babies are bonding

Babies are bonding.  It takes 23 male chromosomes and 23 female chromosomes to have a baby.  Two really do become one in a very physical and profound incarnational way.  Not only one physically, but much more than that, since they have brought into existence a new human being who has an immortal soul.  You have an immortal connection with someone with whom you’ve had a baby.

Slide: God creates every human soul

Conception is an astonishing thing for it involves a creative act by God.  A sperm does not have an immortal soul.  And an egg does not have an immortal soul.  But human beings do.  So where did we get that immortal soul?  We didn’t get it from the sperm.  We didn’t get it from the egg.  Only God can create a human soul.  And when God creates a new human soul He does what He did at the beginning of the universe.  He brings into existence something that did not exist before.  He makes something out of nothing.

There is no storeroom of preexisting souls.  It is very important to realize that God created your soul and the soul of every other human being individually.  He willed you into existence.  And He wants you to exist for eternity.  He entrusts babies to spouses.  He is saying:  “This soul belongs to me. I want this immortal soul to be part of the loving community that I am setting up for an eternity.  And I’m giving this baby to you to do the best that you can to raise up to be a citizen of the heavenly kingdom. Certainly this person has free will and I don’t expect you to make any guarantees.  But I want you to do the best that you can to return this baby to me.”

When spouses are engaging in an act of sexual intercourse during the fertile time of the month, they are sending an invitation to God to create a new human soul.  When sperm meets egg, He answers that invitation.  He answers that invitation if it’s made through rape or if it’s made through in vitro fertilization.  He honors the rules that He has set up.  He doesn’t want babies conceived through rape.  He doesn’t want them conceived through in vitro fertilization.  But when sperm meets egg, he says, “I’ve set up these laws; I’m going to respect them.  But what I want is human beings to be responsible.  They should be sending me an invitation only when they are prepared to accept the gift of a child.”

Slide: Contraception thwarts God’s life-giving power

Contraception puts up a barrier not just between the sperm and the egg, but between the sperm and the egg and God.  Contraceptive sex says we want to have sex on our terms.  We’re not going to allow God to engage in His creative act.

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